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| Just admit it, you're no Shakespeare anyway. LOL |
If you're like me, you're not too fond
of snobbish, perfectionist writers. Now, I have my pet causes, my pet
peeves and my long winded rants, for sure. Don't we all? That's not
what I'm talking about when I use the term “egotistical” in
reference to writers.
I'm talking about those writers who are
constantly trying to impress you with their big brains. I usually get
about three sentences into their articles and click off. I know all
the big words. Language Arts are kind of my thing, you know? I even read actual books sometimes. (Gasp!)
I just
don't like those big words shoved down my throat like a spoonful of
unwanted peas. Yes, even if I like the peas. And I'm not the only
one.
One of the first things I learned about
writing online has served me well consistently over the years. What
is it? Write on an eighth grade level. Now, that's not because your
readers are stupid. It's because they don't have time for your silly,
self centered, big worded, headache promoting, requires too much thought for the time they have passages.
Sorry if that offended anyone. It's
natural to try to impress with your writing. I do it myself on
occasion. Maybe I'm doing it now, to a certain extent. Still, the
whole point of online writing is to entertain and/or provide an
answer to your reader's questions, not to rival Shakespeare. Online
readers are looking for a chuckle or quick answers in an easily
understood format. That's it.
The point is that your readers don't
care how eloquent you are. They just want to skim your article, find
the information they came for and move on. Leave your inflated ego
out of it if you want to be read. Simply put, it's not that tough to
write for an online audience. Pomp and circumstance aren't really
necessary here.
Just be easy to read and you'll be
read!
Hey, you, gorgeous...
ReplyDeleteWe must come together
to RITE in the magnificent
Library Upstairs; we'll RITE
about everything, everyone,
new worlds, animules, races
for eternity...
Here's one...
Would U please help a plethora of King Size, wildchild, rawkuss poetry/wordz which are lookin 4 a home in thy novelty?? Thx. Whew. They're pretty insane. They're bereft of reason. Oi! Blimey! They're bloody PINK spiders!!
Gotta lotta gobba shrewd, surreal, supersonic, sardonic satires, sassy N savvy elixers N electronic elegance ( ...and palpable nuance) on our YOUTHwitheTRUTH blogs. Wannum? Have'm. N'joym. Gettm outta my hair!!!
How mucha wanna betcha our sugar-high-mojo, antioxident, hot-shot, full-throttle, pleasure-beyond-measure, fuse-blowin-exploits R a copious madhouse of one lavish bookay D.O.A.? Our proFUSE NRGod who leads U.S. to explosive fairy-tales in the 'one-stop-shop' symphony Upstairs? God's the BigDude, the Owner of ElysianFields, the Grand Prize, the Austere Overdrive, NoPurchaseNecessary: our bombastic tenaCITY on a Hill which'll plant the Seeds 4u2 grow-up to new N greater heights!! Mama mia! Thatsa good pasta!!
CAUTION: our 22ish, avant-guard, accurately-atrocious, offa-the-reservation-like-Jimmy-Hoffa, metal-breadcrumm-fabYOUlishousness R sooo out-of-order, toots, they're an intimate wealth of bottomless sophistication. And dats da lethal fak, Jak. Go ahead. Sue me. Yawn. But, yet, here's the perennial KOO D'TAH: who else has actually SEEN the Great Beyond in spirit & lived to tella youse bout the bionic, bloated, brevity-like-earth we're living on?? Yes, earthling, I had an NDE, almost salivating4salvation. So gain altitude, never attitude: death has no intrinsik favorites.
If Mr. abSUREditty's an ultra-great-reward, and not everyone enters, Q: why is it an excruciating deluge of epic-.357-caliber where the quality's a limitless bulldozer plowin, pushin-your-power-cord with eternal goodies? A: the Prize-A+-TheEnd just gives U.S. moe-curley-graphix 2 VitSee: an explosion-of-extravagance which few R asking 4 anymore! Grrr. They're too concerned withe grotesque sanity of ambivilant piss-ants which swiftly crawl like lemmings to their scorecard, effusive destruction. C'est la guerre.THANK GAWWWD!!! the Don has the ebullient BAWLS!!! to do the Manifest Destiny!!! To lead U.S. forward to the White House Upstairs with his SQUARES!!!
So, break-free, earthling; be like a contraversial outgrowth of incredibly-intoxicating-effusiveness in your zeitgeist. Wiseabove. Wanna join this useFULL idiot Upstairs 4 the most zany, kooky, X-acto-knife antidotes? Extremely exquisite, explicit endorphins in abundance? Puh-lenty of pulverizingly-tantalizing psychopathic psychosomatics with eXtras? i2i-kick-velocity's-ass-ultra-maximum-rocket-fuel-party-hardy at my pad ya ever encountered without d'New Joisey accent 4 an eternal slew of precarious, magnanimous & primeval absurdities indelibly etched in the granite corridors of eternity with a total-barrage-of-melt-in-thy-mouth 'depth-of-undenial'???
Make Your Choice -SAW
...cuzz nobody gitts outta here alive, earthling.